I was fortunate enough to be featured in Beyond the Veil magazine with a short story about my journey as a man.
Here is a transcript of the article to share with you.
HIS STORY
Skye Angelicstar
Raised in a world where men were taught to suppress, survive and stay silent, one man’s collapse into addiction became the beginning of profound self-awareness and healing.
Your trials, traumas and challenges?
I grew up in a working-class Australian household. My father was a mechanic, and my mum stayed home. We lived in the suburbs and I could just barely make out the Harbour Bridge from my school
playground. In those days, if you had a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other, apparently life was good and the attitude was, “She’ll be right, mate.”
Things were far from alright in our household, especially when my father would arrive home after visiting the pub on the way home from work. At a very young age, I would be hiding in my bedroom when, sooner or later, my father would call me out to sit across from him and, in his words, “What’s my mate been up to today?”
What sounded like an invitation inevitably turned into a confusing, scary man’s voice drowning out my own. This father-and-son time could escalate to moments where my mother felt like stabbing him. I was served up this male toxic, racist, homophobic madness for the full term of living under his roof.
To be a man, you must not cry, or the threat was, “I will put a dress on you and you take no shit from anyone.” You must be a true-blue Aussie, drink copious amounts of beer, support Parramatta rugby league club, stick up for your mates and treat women as “sheila’s”.
Now, you would think that being exposed to and at the effect of this cocktail of small-mindedness would show me what not to do, and yet, without any other examples of how to be a man, I basically had no choice – conditioning is strong and has momentum.
What worked for you on your journey, as in which modalities worked for you, as we are all different?
Back then, my self-medication was speed; it helped me express myself, pot helped calm my mind and body and ecstasy gave me a feeling of love and intimacy.
Obviously, not a long-term strategy I would advise for anyone. I see my father was doing the best with his level of wareness at that time. Smoking and drinking were his stress management tool kit and being at the pub, footy, etc., was his need for belonging/connection and sense of being part of a tribe.
I feel proud to say I expanded and raised the quality of that tool kit to self-love, care, yoga and hypnotherapy. Yoga takes care of my mind, body and soul – and hypnotherapy helps me to understand the workings of the mind, human beliefs, habits and behaviours. I have become a man, yes, a human. Self-aware, self-realised, emotionally intelligent, caring, compassionate and loving.
Planet Earth, my home – tick. Loving kindness, my religion – tick. Playful curiosity and creativity, my outlet – tick. Serving humanity, my saving grace – tick Yoga instructor and hypnotherapist of twenty years – tick.
As my father would often say, this is not a dress rehearsal and if you put a smile on someone’s face, you have had a good day.
What is one solid piece of advice that you would give to the brotherhood just starting out on their journey?
My no one piece of advice to our brothers beginning their journey would be to open up to and be curious in researching about life on an energetic level, being made up of Yin energy (female qualities) and Yang energy (male qualities) and realising all humans also embody yin and yang energy.
So, you can enjoy the journey of rebalancing the masculine and feminine energies that are already in you. It is a matter of becoming familiar with both energies and how powerful and beautiful it is to feel yourself as a human being having the energies harmonised and available to feel and express when needed.
With our world in peril in this unprecedented moment in history, what in your personal opinion, do we need to do?
In my opinion, what is needed at this time on the planet is loving kindness and for us humans to cultivate heart centred union consciousness by redirecting our attention less outside ourselves and more
on our inner world through breathing/meditation/hypnosis. Returning to the peace and stillness within. Reconnect and move through theday from our inner sense. Make our journey from the head to the
heart. Take our serious suits off more often and embrace the play of life through playful curiosity, creativity and the power of imagination.